Internet Security

It has been brought to my attention that I need to LOG OUT. Otherwise some sneaky types might use my blog.

Pesky lurchers. Just when you think you have made friends they stab you in the back and hijack your blog.

I am so put out I have been subdued and quiet ALL day.

And then I had to give one of them a kicking for good measure.

Click on the pic to download a movie ;-)


(2.6 Mb - or so)

General Jackson SIGNING OUT ( so skinny ugly mutant dogs can bog OFF!)

Help Wanted.

Poorly Dog.

One of the skinny ugly mutant dogs has been poorly. Apparently he had a "dietary indiscretion". Something to do with 1/2 a stolen salami.

Because I am a caring sharing sweet natured Basset, I decided I need to to nurse him back to health.



And then I bit his tail.


After this, me and the mutant dog (his name is Boots) got on MUCH better and he even let me snuggle up in his grown up dog bed


And use him as a hot water bottle


My foster mum was so proud of me, she bought me a PUPPY CHEW (this is not like salami and will not make me poorly)

General Mayhem

It seems as if the humans are just as confused about the time business as us Bassets. Off to bed late, up late, they are such lazy creatures. Still I slept for 10 hours cos I was EXHAUSTED from teaching the skinny ugly mutant dogs to play.

It is hard work.

First you catch them with a toy...


Then you get them to bow to you:


But watch out for those big teeth


Then you let THEM take the toy


But don't let them have it for too long or they will get ideas above their station.


And if they get a bit rough...


Play dead...

Time

The humans having been dicking about with time.

Apparently, it's an hour earlier, or later - who knows.

It is VERY confusing for a small Basset.

Just when I have gotten used to being fed at a particular time, they move it (time, that is). I got very hungry and this meant that there was EVEN MORE loose skin than normal.

So if I can "pinch more than an inch", am I too fat or too thin?



However, late breakfast means I can eat outside with the skinny ugly mutant dogs cos it is light outside. But it is best not to try to share their breakfasts.



After breakfast it was a lovely sunny morning so I worked on the smaller blond skinny ugly mutant dog, he needs extra instruction in Basset Play.


(This dog's name is Tealeaf and he is ok for a skinny ugly dog.)

I Am A Forlorn Basset

I am not a happy chap. :-(
I have been "told off".

The humans kept saying I needed to be careful cos I kept chasing the skinny ugly mutant dogs and biting their tails and ankles.

I chased the yummy grey one who smells luffly out into the garden and she gave me a seeing off. Apparently she gives everyone a ticking off. It is a right of passage. I am taking myself off to my bedroom for a bit to consider my ways.

PS the humans say not to worry, many dogs do ok on three legs.
PPS only joking.

General Jackson Proceeds With A Plan.

I had a REAL adventure yesterday. I was "locked out". One of the humans took me out to the front garden for an explore, which was pure dead good. Only, the wind blew the door shut, so we had to go for HELP.

Help arrived in the form of neighbours (they thought I was gorgeous - of course) who assisted with the "break-in".

The other dogs surprisingly did not look all to happy to see us....

Wonder if the wind that blew the door was really wind, or wolfhound-wind?

Anyway - my cunning plan to suborn the skinny ugly mutant dogs (SUMDs) is proceeding.

"This is the ragger toy you are looking for"


"You WILL play with the ragger toy (and then me)"


"Play with me, PLAY with me"


"oh SHIT!"

My First Email

My foster mum uses a computer, I have no real idea why cos Basset puppies are FAR more interesting and fun! But anyway I thought she needed a bit of help (getting in touch with her inner Basset puppy).... so I decided to send my dad an email.
Typing with a tongue is probably not the best method and these ears get in the way.

it read:

v vccv cvbbvvv

I Am Fantastic...

...apparently.

I barked this evening at the door to tell the humans to let me out to do my stuff. They are finally catching on.

Mind you - all that fuss about one wee, these humans are very excitable.

Silly Billies, they really ought to get in touch with their inner Basset and relax more.



(Can anyone tell me why I have so many chins at my tender age?)

Wormers..... The Rumours Are Wrong!

Now I had heard the rumours about wormers, and let me tell you I was quite a worried Basset. Those skinny ugly dogs told tales.

But let me tell you - they are ALL WRONG. Wormers are ham flavoured. In fact - I think they ARE HAM.

Ham is good,
Ham is yummy,
I really like it,
In my Tummy.


I think I ate too much HAM:

Too Tired To Blog....

I have been working on the skinny ugly mutant dogs. One of them may be weakening.

"This is not the furry toy you are looking for....."


"Feel the force...."


"Your powers are weak old man"



What DOES happen when an irresistable force meets an immoveable object?


Basset carpet burns!

All this romping is exhausting... now how do big dogs sleep?

Sleep Is Good

Sleep gives you energy to play.

Sleep lets you GROW.

Sleep lets the humans get energy to play with you.

I slept for 8 1/2 hours last night. I would have slept longer but those pesky humans woke me up for breakfast.

Apparently I am a "GOOD BOY".

This is what I look like when I have not had enough sleep.

Skinny Ugly Mutant Dogs.

The skinny ugly mutant dogs do not like me and refuse to play with me.
I do not know why, I am such a friendly chap. One of them swears at me if I go ANYWHERE near her, one of them smells completely yummy and I think I might fancy her. The others just run away when I invite them to play with me by trying to bite their ankles (it's the only bit I can reach).

What can a Basset DO?

*sigh*

Maybe they are not dogs after all.


Are you SURE you are a dog?

New Toys!

I have new toys! This is because I kept stealing the toys of the skinny ugly mutant dogs, and they were getting upset. Anyway - their toys are pants cos some of them weigh more than me (that's 6 kilos as we know - though I have had a HUGE lunch so maybe now I weigh more? )

It has been sunny today and I have spent AGES in the garden playing with my new toys.






P.S. Maybe humans aren't so mean after all.
P.P.S. I am practising being cute.
P.P.P.S I like my new toys.

What is a V. E. T.?

Cos that is where I went today. In the car.
I did not like the car even though it was a short trip so I practised my 'Basset Howl'.

I got cold and frightened in the car so my foster mum stuffed me up her jumper at the vets and some other women laughed at me. Everyone seems to be laughing at me at the moment, I am very popular.
I was weighed. I weigh 6 Kilos. (Am I fat? Does my bum look big in this?)

Anyway (that's different from any weigh), it was for something called wormers. More about them later.

I also have a new COLLAR. Only this is a borrowed puppy collar that some other special pups have worn. One day I will get my own collar. This collar has a jangly tag that bumps my legs and it makes my neck itch but I have to practise wearing it. I'm not keen.

Here is a picture of me practising wearing my new collar:

Humans Are Mean

They insist on taking me outside in the dark and cold and rain last thing at night. And apparently I have a "high surface area to volume" ratio.

I don't know what that means. Ears were mentioned.

Anyway I get very cold and shivery when they make me go outside. So then they tuck me up in a big towel with a hot water bottle.

And laugh at me when I snore.

Very mean.



(click on the image for the movie - it's about 6Meg - and you need sound )

Good Morning From Basset Land

Its my second morning in my new home. Yesterday was so fun packed with activity that I slept through the night. Only the humans like to get up early and insist I join them first thing, which is a bit much for a small Basset.

Then they make me go out to the cold wet garden - AND it's dark. They are a bit mean.

Anyway I have taught my humans a couple of new tricks.

the first is that if I bark loudly enough, they will hurry up and get my breakfast. I insist on being fed with the long legged mutant dogs, just so that they know I don't mind them being deformed and it will not colour my judgement of them.





The second is that I have taught my humans the "throw". I bring them a toy and they throw it (not too far mind, I only have short legs). I have found by repeating the process they will keep throwing the toy, though sometimes I like to confuse them by bringing back the wrong toy. They are catching on, but a little dim, I expect its cos they only have 2 legs.



Sometimes the human's aim is rubbish and they make me miss the toy.

I Have Learned A New Trick

Apparently us Basset Puppies are a bit susceptable to the cold when wet. So by scaring my humans by getting wet and shivery, I have now taught them that they have to wander round the garden with me in the rain holding an umbrella over me.

My human slaves then have to fetch a towel and dry me properly.

Where To Sleep?

I have been instructed that I need to be careful where I sleep and my bedroom is best.

This is because I am only little



And I might get squished. (Or gassed)





PS. I am not SLEEPING. I am GROWING.

Torture Time

I have just had my nails cut.

I was brave and did not cry.

General Jackson Sets Out

Hello, My name is General Jackson and I am a Basset hound.

I was born in Cambridgeshire on 16th August 2006 where I lived the first 8 weeks of my life with my mum, Lucy, and my 8 brothers and sisters. We played and ate and romped together in a HUGE garden.



Anyway, when I was about 6 weeks old a MAN came to see me and said that I would be going away to the far side of the world to live and romp on huge open beaches.

But I have to wait until I am BIGGER before I go so yesterday I went to live with a kind of foster mum. Apparently my foster mum is my new MAN's daughter, so I am not sure if she is my mum or my sister. I am a confused Basset.

My new temporary home has lots of dogs.

I was VERY brave in the car and did not cry (much) and I was not sick...



When I got to the new place I was very hungry, and thirsty, but I'm a bit worried I might fall into this water bowl and drown:




I explored the garden and met the others dogs, I think they are all mutants cos they have ridiculously long legs:



I wonder if I eat all my puppy food I will grow up to look like him?
And then I had to play....



But all this adventuring is very tiring....





OY! this is my bedroom, can't a boy have a little privacy?